Finding Balance Within
Have you ever just felt all over the place? I am sure you are reading this question and asking yourself, what kind of question is that? Because the answer for a lot of people is a resounding HELL YES! I think the question that I really want to know the answer to is how can I live in a place of peace or self-assuredness? How can I truly live a life of focus, a life of clarity and a life that has a clear sense of purpose? Truth be told, I don’t fully know how to live in this space all of the time without wavering. However, I am going to go out on a limb and speculate based on my own experience what is required to have clarity in life. From my own experience, I am learning to seek clarity over and over in order to reside in a place of peace. I feel confident in saying that peace lies within us and if we don’t take the time to interface with God’s divine nature within us we allow external factors to define us versus seeing God’s divine in us.
When I think back to the few times in my life and I literally mean FEW times in my life when I have felt the most clarity, it was the times when I literally carved out time to spend with myself. Every night, I could not close my eyes without writing in my journal, praying, and paying attention to my thoughts. Not only did I take time every day to listen to my own thoughts, I also set aside time each week in which I hung out with myself. I craved this time. During this time I did what some may consider to be “deep” soul searching. I learned that sometimes looking into the depths of your own shadows is the place where you find your deepest sense of purpose. For me, there were times when a desire or longing for something greater than where I currently found myself came to mind and I began to create an inner vision for what was possible for me. In these moments of solitude, I allowed my mind to envision whatever it desired. I could see myself living out my deepest desires without fear of judgment or doubts that I would ever see any of these visions come to pass. In these moments of solitude I also saw the shadows that were cast over my dreams, the fears, the doubts, and the perceived limitations. I learned to navigate through the dark place, the shadows, and the doubts in order to meditate on possibilities. I learned that my growth and development was not the absence of lack, pain or suffering; however, I had the potential to determine how I perceived every unpleasant moment in my life. I get to decide if the dark times would be a catalyst for success or would it be a hindrance and an excuse for why I act and behave in a way that is counter intuitive to my Highest Self.
Recently as I was listening to Michelle Obama’s top selling book Becoming, she shared about a time in which Barack took a sabbatical of sorts and his mother rented a little cottage for him in Indonesia so that he could set aside time to finish his book Dreams From My Father. Michelle also shared how she wasn’t really happy about it. As I heard this story a light bulb went off and I thought to myself, that’s it! That’s the missing peace (piece). Sometimes we have to go into the hole to find clarity. The hole is a metaphor for a place of solitude, free from distraction, to get clear and hear our own thoughts. Sometimes we have to go onto the mountain top to experience an uncommon encounter with God and in essence commune with our Highest Selves and other times we are in the cave our hearts and minds looking at all the places we have shielded ourselves from because we are afraid of what we might find and how it will reveal that we aren’t living in our greatest possibilities. It’s the moment when we separate ourselves from our everyday activities that we find peace. It is vital to our existence, yet sometime even the people we love and the ones that love us won’t understand it.