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Damn, I’m Dope or Am I Good Enough

Damn, I’m Dope  or Am I Good Enough

“Be careful what measure you use to examine your worth.”- Tye

I have never been one to follow people on social media because they are famous, have a title or attract many followers. If I actually admitted how many celebrities I have never heard of until recently the average millennial might be appalled or tickled into a gut wrenching roll on the floor. You know the type of laughter that puts a cramp in your side. Yep, that’s the one!

The desire to not follow others is something I recently thought about. I also acknowledge that it has been something that I have never fully embraced even from a young age when people’s opinion of you “should matter the most”, Right?  Trust me, if I am willing to follow you there must be evidence of some level of authenticity, some connection, or some reason I am gravitating to you in that moment or season of my life.  I have learned that my connections to others is an intentional act and I chose to believe that many of the most meaningful connections and relationships I have developed with others were divinely orchestrated.

Are you honoring your truth or are you just following the hype?

Resisting the Hype

Why am I so resistant to following the crowd? Why am I so resistant to following the trends that EVERYONE subscribes to.  I think one possibility is that I want to live life on my own terms in my own way, not looking through a window into a life that I know nothing about or have no personal connection to.  There is a saying that says “everything that glitters ain’t gold.”  Now don’t misunderstand me. I do not think that having many followers, fame, or influence is inherently bad. However, I am cautious of the effects that following others to observe their lives without context can do to one’s own personal self-esteem, growth and development.

It’s all about balancing our perspectives and expectations for what life should look like for us in any given moment.  There is such a thing called delayed gratification which means we don’t always get what we want when we want it. Looking too closely at what others have and comparing it to your own life is not healthy and leaves little room for you to embrace the idea that everything you have is enough and when you are ready for something new, you will receive it.

I believe in the idea that life is a journey that we are on that teaches us, grows us, and calls us towards greater Wisdom.   It is our responsibility to tune ourselves into our Highest Selves to know when to look to others for guidance and inspiration or when to turn inward and deal with matters of the heart. It’s all a balancing act. 

Social Media Frenzy

Let’s be honest, I have found myself weighing in on the lives of other people with absolutely no context what so ever; trying to figure out why she wore that dress, why he said that, or whose political agenda aligns with my own.  That’s all well and good, but when I take a step back it added no value to my life and sometimes diminishes another person’s existence.  The truth is we are all growing along different lines.  I want to commit to saving my “criticisms”, feedback, and even opinions of others by exchanging criticisms and opinions with meaningful, intentional conversations that have potential to shift hearts and minds in a positive direction for a greater good.

Damn, I’m Dope or Am I Good Enough

I find myself battling between two ways of thinking.   At times I’m like, “Damn, I’m dope” and then there are other times in which I question whether or not I am good enough.   I have been told I am naturally a confident person.  This is intimidating for some and has sent me on a downward spiral into the land of doubting myself.  Why does my confidence offend others? How can I love me without affecting others ability to see value within themselves?

This isn’t law, but I am learning to balance humility with confidence. I know that I’m dope but where do I have room to grow? There is always room for growth. My newest (quest)ion to explore is how can I use the journeys of others to push me to be a better me without comparing my life to theirs or making others feel less than they are ?

My life is my life. Your life is your life. Live your life! Be Dope!

Something to think about

Who or what are you allowing to influence your self-worth?

Who do you look up to? How do they inspire you to be a better you?

Are there images, people, shows, music that lead you to question your worth?

What are the narratives you are telling yourself?

 

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What Are You Pretending Not To Know?

What Are You Pretending Not to Know?

Many of my most recent conversations have been about finding the path where my passion meets my purpose.  This comes with asking tough questions: Am I where I need to be? Is it time for a transition? Am I in a place or position due to scarcity (i.e. money over mission or the belief that I will never have or be enough) or am I choosing the path to which I feel most called to which is signified by a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career.

Turning Outwards for the Answers That Lie Within

The conversations I find myself having  over and over with myself  and others often begin with being frustrated about working long hours, not having time for myself,  balancing family life amongst work related responsibilities , finances, friendships, sleep, and  the need to experience more FREEDOM. The list goes on.

When I talk to my closest friends many tell me that I help them see things in a different light or believe in their ability to accomplish their goals in spite of perceived obstacles or limitations. For some, they even feel compelled to develop a deeper connection to God when I share aspects of my faith journey and how my faith in God gives me a sense of purpose and inner peace.

While finding myself on a quest to figure it all out, my thoughts are overtaken by the desire to find a new job, take a new trip, or move to a new city. However, the hardest pill I have recently had to swallow is acknowledging my tendency to use my quest for something new as a way to mask the idea that I have never fully manifested what I feel I have been placed on this earth to do.  Or I am withholding by choosing with whom or in what context I will be vulnerable and authentic. I am withholding when I rob myself of the opportunity to live out the fullest expression of who I am; judging myself in the backdrop of perceived expectations projected onto me.

Why Are You Hiding?

Despite knowing that there is more for me to share with the world, I still continue to walk around pretending not to know; pretending not to know the power that lies within me. Pretending not to know that the world needs to be filled with messages of hope, faith and love all of which I have a deep conviction to share.

Several months ago, I stood on the stoop of a friend’s house sharing what life is teaching me.  The more we engaged in conversation the more I felt a sense of joy and fulfillment.  She was like “Wow, Tye, you have so much insight to offer! Why are you hiding?” In that moment, I thought to myself, “Why am I hiding?  Why AM I HIDING?”

Why do I keep pretending not to know that I have the ability to impact lives through my words. Why do I keep pretending not to know that my vocation is tied to the fabric of who I am as a person? I am a teacher and I cultivate environments conducive to learning. I am a leader with an ability to influence others. I am a wisdom seeker that holds the idea that I can have an overcomer’s mentality in every area of my life without labeling my experiences as being good or bad, but rather I can choose to reflect on what I have learned from each experience.  I am a communicator that can communicate with the intent of others getting it.

In that moment I realized that me pretending not to know continued to rob me of opportunities to share information that could empower someone or help shift their thinking in a way that could produce a ripple effect in their lives and their ability to see value in what they can bring to others. Me pretending not to know keeps me fleeing what I know I am called to do, which is provide spiritual direction and guidance by coaching people through challenging situations. I miss the opportunity to help people see that they have the power to produce any positive outcome in their life by taking responsibility of how they perceive everything in their life.

At some point , I validated the “hiding” through questioning  my self-worth or whether or not my story mattered when it came to helping other people navigate the ups and downs in life.  My hiding led me to continue to withhold my voice.  My hiding was validated every time I judged that the significance of my story couldn’t exist when someone else’s is better, more polished, or in some instances more traumatic therefore, they mattered and their story was more substantive.

Am I the only person who thinks this way?

Resistance: Questions That Need Answers

For quite some time I have wandered around pretending not to know what I really want rather than admitting to myself that there are underlying narratives that I allow to live in my heart and mind.

I continue to remain in the question, “Why am I hiding?”  I have committed to being okay with not having  THE ANSWER, but instead I chose to continue going on a quest of answering by acknowledging what comes up for me when I examine my inner thoughts.

I continue to ask:

What underlying narratives am I telling myself?

Rewriting the Narrative

What narratives need to be re-written?  I am remaining in the (QUEST)ion.  Again, I am not looking to have the answer but I am open to answering.  This means I chose to acknowledge my experience in any given moment by paying attention to what I am feeling in that moment, what I am experiencing in that moment, the memories that arise in that moment, the physiological responses that are present in my body in that moment and then let go of any narratives that are no longer serving me in that moment.

I once heard that our gifts and talents are the answer to the world’s greatest need.  I truly believe every being is endowed with ENERGY that is designed to bring healing to the world when we use our talents, gifts, and resources for the greater good.  I refuse to hide any longer. It’s time to author something new.

Something to Consider

What are you pretending not to know?

Are you hiding? If so, from what? How are you hiding?

What narrative could you chose to shift to author something new?

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The Hole: A Place of Clarity

Finding Balance Within

Have you ever just felt all over the place? I am sure you are reading this question and asking yourself, what kind of question is that?  Because the answer for a lot of people is a resounding HELL YES!  I think the question that I really want to know the answer to is how can I live in a place of peace or self-assuredness? How can I truly live a life of focus, a life of clarity and a life that has a clear sense of purpose?  Truth be told, I don’t fully know how to live in this space all of the time without wavering. However, I am going to go out on a limb and speculate based on my own experience what is required to have clarity in life.  From my own experience, I am learning to seek clarity over and over in order to reside in a place of peace. I feel confident in saying that peace lies within us and if we don’t take the time to interface with God’s divine nature within us we allow external factors to define  us versus seeing God’s divine in us.

Soul Searching

When I think back to the few times in my life and I literally mean FEW times in my life when I have felt the most clarity, it was the times when I literally carved out time to spend with myself.   Every night, I could not close my eyes without writing in my journal, praying, and paying attention to my thoughts.  Not only did I take time every day to listen to my own thoughts, I also set aside time each week in which I hung out with myself.  I craved this time. During this time I did what some may consider to be “deep” soul searching.  I learned that sometimes looking into the depths of your own shadows is the place where you find your deepest sense of purpose.  For me, there were times when a desire or longing for something greater than where I currently found myself came to mind and I began to create an inner vision for what was possible for me.  In these moments of solitude, I allowed my mind to envision whatever it desired. I could see myself living out my deepest desires without fear of judgment or doubts that I would ever see any of these visions come to pass.  In these moments of solitude I also saw the shadows that were cast over my dreams, the fears, the doubts, and the perceived limitations.  I learned to navigate through the dark place, the shadows, and the doubts in order to meditate on possibilities.  I learned that my growth and development was not the absence of lack, pain or suffering; however, I had the potential to determine how I perceived every unpleasant moment in my life.  I get to decide if the dark times would be a catalyst for success or would it be a hindrance and an excuse for why I act and behave in a way that is counter intuitive to my Highest Self.

New Understandings

Recently as I was listening to Michelle Obama’s top selling book Becoming, she shared about a time in which Barack took a sabbatical of sorts and his mother rented a little cottage for him in Indonesia so that he could set aside time to finish his book Dreams From My Father.  Michelle also shared how she wasn’t really happy about it.   As I heard this story a light bulb went off and I thought to myself, that’s it! That’s the missing peace (piece).   Sometimes we have to go into the hole to find clarity.  The hole is a metaphor for a place of solitude, free from distraction, to get clear and hear our own thoughts. Sometimes we have to go onto the mountain top to experience an uncommon encounter with God and in essence commune with our Highest Selves and other times we are in the cave our hearts and minds looking at all the places we have shielded ourselves from because we are afraid of what we might find and how it will reveal that we aren’t living in our greatest possibilities.  It’s the moment when we separate ourselves from our everyday activities that we find peace.  It is vital to our existence, yet sometime even the people we love and the ones that love us won’t understand it.

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Believe for More: Kaneshia Clifford

Eve Within

FullSizeRender.jpgWhat comes to mind for you in your own life regarding EveWithin? In other words, what would you like to share about the progress you’ve made as a woman of God over the past few years? 

Within the last 6 months, I have started 2 businesses.  This is no easy feat.  Up until recently, I had several passions that had yet to be actualized and I decided to step out in faith and create the life I want.  The moment that I realized my own creative power, I was able to muster up enough faith to take the first step and God provided the people and resources that I needed.  In addition, I have spent the last 6 months focusing on my own personal growth and development.  As a wife and working mom, I had to find a way to center myself and make time to do things…

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Affirming The Life I’ve Always Dreamed Of

IMG_0398 I am a true believer that affirmations are powerful. We become what we think. Eventually, what we think slowly finds a way to manifest in our reality. I think it is in part because we act in ways that are consistent with our thoughts. From my experience, I have noticed that when my thoughts are inundated with all the things that I shouldn’t do I end up accomplishing what I don’t want rather than what I want. Writing and reciting affirmations aloud allows me to make declarations that encourage and support my vision rather than diminish it.

What I speak over myself and my family has the ability to alter our reality. I have recently felt more than ever that I needed to actually sit down and write out my own personalized affirmations that reflect and affirm the life that I have always dreamed of. I am not going to lie, I am often lazy, or “busy” which leads to making excuses.  However, I realize that failing to be obedient to what my Inner Voice is prompting me to do is costly. It costs me peace of mind and  the assurance of knowing that I can have what I declare.  It cost me time trying to figure things out rather than just believing that it is so because I say so.  I have faith enough to believe that God is always working things together for my good and  the conviction in me to write these affirmations is so strong I could not  ignore it any longer.

I know that God has blessed my life and continues to bless me.  I now create time to practice gratitude and meditate on my personal affirmations. I recently have spent many days and weeks meditating on gratitude. My goal is to identify something each day that I am grateful for. This practice allows me to recognize where God has opened doors in my life and given me provision in all seasons of my life. This practice also helps to minimize the fear that attempts to overtake me when I am embarking on something new.

As I have taken time to reflect more and more about life and what the life I have always dreamed of looks like , I began to generate affirmations that are in alignment with my vision. I want to encourage you to write your own affirmations, read them daily, and speak them aloud. There is enough abundance present in the world for you to live life to the fullest. Rather than living from a place of scarcity, realize that substance is created and generated when we think and act on our thoughts. It’s time to create and/or increase the intensity of your affirmations and watch things turn around in your life.

Family/Household

My marriage is God-centered, joyous, loving, connected, open and trusting.
My family is healthy physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
My family relates to one another positively and with LOVE.
My family prays together.
My family serves the LORD.
My household is a place of peace.
My household is full of ABUNDANCE.

My Life/Purpose
I am blessed to be a blessing.
I support others in achieving their goals.
I am living in ABUNDANCE, NOW!!!
I coach and I am coachable.

Finances
I am debt free.
I have financial freedom.
I have all the provision that I need to create the experiences I want (i.e. travel, investments, business opportunities, etc.)

My Body and Physical Well-being
I feed my body well.
I am healthy and whole.

My Faith
I walk by faith and not by sight.
I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
I am loved and I love freely.

What do you want to affirm in your life today?